connected through words ch2

Five minutes has past by and shadow still hasn’t arrived. I have gotten bored so I started to write a poem.

We hate each other
Yet we seem so close.
We can’t stand being near one another
But we can’t break apart.

These feelings for you seem so strange
Is it love or is it not.
It sounds a bit deranged
But it’s already in my heart.

Is this a forbidden path?
Did I fall for the one I hate?
Was I left to feel your wrath?
Why must I choose?

What makes you so great?
I love you but I hate you.
Why are we filled with so much hate?
But either way what do I have left to lose?

Why must I betray myself like this? I was hoping that writing would make me forget shadow but, it just made me think of him more. I placed my book down and went downstairs to the living room to find my mom talking to shadow.
“Hey dear, this young man came to talk to you.” She said.
“Yea, thank you mom.” I told her.
“Hey Sonic.” He said.
“I’ll leave you guys alone.” After she said that she made her way to the kitchen.
“Shadow want to head up to my room?” I asked him
“What’s wrong with staying here?” he asked me back.
“Trust me you don’t want to see what my dogs do here.” I told him.
“Good point.” He said
“Okay let’s go then.” I told him.
Once that was said he stood up and walked next to me. I lead him to my room and awaited his reaction.
“You have a lot of guitars in here.” He said.
“He he yea I love guitars I only use one of them since the others are custom made.” I told him.
“Cool. Man I always thought you were just a nerd but I guess I was wrong.” He said. “But, I have a reputation to keep so I can only be nice when we aren’t in school ok?”
“That I understand,” great another reason to be scared of him, “what made you want to come here?” I asked.
“I kind of … want to get to know you a little more.” He told me.
“Oh… what do you want to know?” I was curious now, why would he be interested in me? I mean he is my enemy, he might use it against me I don’t know if I can trust him but something inside me told me to tell him.
“Well first off, why do you dress like a girl?” he asked.
“I have a girlish figure.” I told him.
“Why don’t you gain some pounds? You might lose that figure.” He said.
“Tried. I got fat at one point but within a week, I lost all the fat. I’m stuck with this figure now.” I responded.
“Oh. Do you play the guitar a lot?” he asked.
“Only when I have the time, which is like three times a week.” I told him.
“cool.” He said while smiling.
That smile, I never saw him smile before, it lures me closer to wanting to hold him. What am I thinking? Shadow is my enemy I should be hating him, yet I feel as if I should love him, make him mine. What is wrong with me? Before I could continue my thoughts were interrupted I felt a hand on my shoulder.
“Huh? Something wrong?” I asked.
“You phased out are you ok?” he asked.
“Yea I’m fine just thinking” I reassured him.
“Ok. If something is bothering you just let me know okay.” He asked me.
“Ok I will.” I smiled back.
He smiled at me but then he looked at the clock and quickly started to pace around.
“Shadow is something wrong?” I wondered.
“I have to leave right away.” He said.
“Why?” I asked.
“I’m sorry but I have to go.” After saying, that he ran out of my house. I’m all alone now. Should I be happy? I should, yet I feel empty inside. Shadow … what have you done? What have you done to me? I hate you but that hatred brings me closer to wanting you. I must be tired maybe that will help. I changed into my boxers and crawled into my bed. Closed my eyes and hoped for a dreamless sleep.